The love of my life is my best friend, my lover and my biggest supporter. Yet he is married. Before you get all bent out of shape, his wife has known about us for over two years. She and I hang out a lot and she helps me out with my kids and other things. Our relationship is like a roller coaster. From one day to the next you just never know if you're going up or down. The craziest part is I know he weinies out of things because he is afraid of the consequences of leaving her. He loves the both of us though he let me know that I am the only one he trully loves.
I finally had enough of the straddling the fence or the ups and downs of it all so I made up my mind and moved to Cookeville, a little over 2 hours away so I can finish my last year of college. Granted I have had so much homesickness mostly because I miss Mike. I know he has missed me too.
I often wonder if I am crazy for believing he and I can ever be together as a couple. It's what I want for us both. I mean, the both of us are happy together when it is just us two. There are times when his wife and I are together and want to strangle each other. Those are the times he wants to run away, which is why I mentioned I know he weinies out of things.
Then I also feel that the people who know about Mike and I(which there are plenty that do) know we love and care about each other so much and have made it clear they know his wife is on the edge of a breakdown they won't say anything at all to either one of them yet they'll say something to me?
The week prior to the big move, his wife was extremely clingy and it was getting on his and my last nerve. I went to talk to a small business specialist in our building and when I came back I noticed she was gone from the office. He let me know (in blunt words) it was time for her to go, to leave the office. He had been wanting to spend a day with just me and it took all week to do. The day before though was the kicker, or at least to me it was. She had Mike go out to the hall to talk to him for quite awhile. I found out later that she asked him if since I was going away did that mean it was over with between the two of us? Mike immediately told her no.
I talked to a close friend of ours later and she told me that the wife said to her that whenever Mike goes to Cookeville she is going too. I was honestly pissed off. I felt like she was trying to control things which definitely will piss Mike off. He was already that way because he found out the weekend before that she had been deliberately deleting text messages and turning his phone off to keep from communicating with me.
I did get upset with Mike though he won't tell me what he told his wife when she was confronting him. All I can do is trust that he let her know her trying to control him is going down the wrong path.
Do I deserve Mike? Yes I do. I have treated him like a human being for the last two years. He supports me in what I do and I do the same for hm. I made the choice to move to Cookeville for many reasons and one of them is for our relationship to grow stronger. We have been able to work on things better being separated. To make up for it we talk on the phone often, email and text each other.
We have had our ups and downs though I have always loved him. He has taught me so much and I do so many things I am so thankful for doing and learning about.
I am looking forward though to him visiting me in Cookeville, on his own.
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